Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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