Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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