What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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can you pass the soap?

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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