A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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