How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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