What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops