dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...