Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops