A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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