Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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you will like this because i am black.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops