- Anti Joke

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!