knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Once upon a time

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops