What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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