A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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