Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops