- Anti Joke

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*