Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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