Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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