Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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