What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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GOODBYE

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops