Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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