- Anti Joke

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

XD Jackass.

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

Then none of us want to be right.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

Why did the Chicken cross the road? "The Sky is that same reddish gray" Lance the chicken Thought to himself as he looked out into the busy intersection of Franklin and 4th....The city was more bustling that day then it had previously been the week before..."Maybe its because its friday..another weekend of family fun i guess" Lance said to himself...but then he remembered it was only tuesday..the days have all meshed together like some kind of various meats thrown together last second in an omelet...As lance looked into the stream of cars he wondered if somewhere..in some alternate dimension or some far away planet..that he could be riding in one of those cars..filled with his wife..his kids and all the happiness that you could fit into a tiny 4 door... But in between the dazzling stream of colours he could see a figure..staring right back at him..the figure was of another chicken..But a gruesome sorrowing excuse for a chicken..But something about that estranged being brought him somewhere////brought him to a place he never wanted to think about..he looked into the sky hoping to break eye contact..but instead was thrown into a turmoil of hate, regret and sorrow.. He looked down at his wedding ring..now only a piece of gold and silver..meaningless. "How Could I have done that to the one I loved the most...I made a promise to protect her"....he still remembers her last words to him..the breath she whispered to him moments before she past.."We live as slaves, to love what god takes away"...the one thing Lance Remembers most about that day was the obtuse shade of the sky..That Reddish Gray..It was almost as if the sky was red with his anger at the world...They Had just started their life together...not even 2 hours after she had been so violently ripped from his heart..he began returning to the drugs, sex and abuse that she saved him from...or tried to save him from..looking back at it//he tried filling that hole in his heart with whatever he could find..until his search lead him to that intersection..the intersection of Franklin and 4th...the day was growing old.... and his shadow growing long..soon the traffic began to to dwindle and he finally saw the figure..He finally saw what he had become..in the reflection of an adjacent building..he finally saw what society has made him...a monster...he never thought it would've came to this..everyone has plans for their lives..until they get hit. what is life without a purpose? what is purpose without love? Tormented by the monsters and demons of his past...he took one last look into the sky...closed his eyes.. and blindly walked into the now busy intersection..hoping to find peace...on the Other Side.....

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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