Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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