Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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