How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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