Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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