Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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