What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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