Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Hello

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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