What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Lololol

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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jews

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops