Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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tea with milk?

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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