a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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A whole 'nother.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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well use a tissue!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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