How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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