Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops