How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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