What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Women's rights

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops