Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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