What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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