can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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drugs.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops