Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Women's Rights.

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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