One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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roses are red poo is poo

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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