A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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1d

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why? Because.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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