So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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