What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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alex is cool

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Pickles are powerful

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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