A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

Who is Dank? A: Billal

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Fat? Jesse Z

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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