call me maybe.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

what you get time to go with? - a clock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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