Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops