What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops