- Anti Joke

What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

vitamin c

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman