What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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