how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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