Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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i dont fisish anythi

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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woman's rights

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops