knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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haha

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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your so fat. your fat!

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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