How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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