When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One time i was sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops