What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Take part of what?

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops