A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops