What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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