if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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